There are things that happen in life that we don’t understand why God would allow those things to happen. To be totally honest, I have so many questions that I have been asking God recently. My family has been through a really hard season this past month that came abruptly. We unexpectedly lost 3 family members on this side of Heaven and they went with Jesus to the other side. It all happened within the time span of about 4 weeks. Each one went on a Sunday. We just ended the last funeral yesterday and I pray that is the last funeral we have had for a while. But this is a season where I don’t understand and all I can do is just trust God.
I sit here and I wonder how in the world did we get here? Just 3 months ago, we were so happy and so expectant and excited for what God was doing and although we still are excited for what God is doing, we are also having to learn how to balance the emotions of grief with the excitement of the future. I wonder why things happened the way they did and how the whole month of august has been almost a complete blur. There have been moments where I just wanted to give up. I had to fight for my hope. I had to stop the lies of the enemy that was telling me to be fearful of the future cause what if someone else dies or what if things fail and just crumble apart. I had to stop the lies and find comfort in God. In a time and season where it literally felt like the ground beneath me was falling, I stopped striving and I just finally cried out to him and shared my heart. I didn’t try to sound all fancy or have all my eloquent language of prayers to recite before him, I just let my tears speak for me as it says in Psalm 38.
As I still walk in a season where I’m trying to understand how to move forward and yet balance the emotions of what happened in the past, it can be hard, but the question I keep asking the Lord is what is he wanting to teach me? I read through all the people of the bible who faced the fiery trials of life and walked through the valleys to finally reach the final destination of the mountain peak and I am reminded that the same God who was faithful to them is the God I serve and have a relationship with, he will carry us through this season.
So I encourage you. If you feel you are in a season of sorrow and it is arrow after arrow just beating at you, take comfort and shelter in Abba. Ask him the hard questions. Instead of letting the hard things tear you apart and farther from God, let them draw you closer in your relationship with him by learning new things about him. Let his healing oil flow over you and through you. The only way we can walk victoriously is by walking close to him.
-with love, grace.
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